BEYOND

EP 40 The Bold Ask: Receiving What You Desire

• Katie Lynn Rojano

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Hina Khan, peak performance mindset coach, shares her unique approach to boldness — a concept that can flow with peaceful, feminine energy rather than aggressive force. She discusses how making bold requests from a place of wholeness allows us to create lives rich with ease, joy, and fun.

• Bold requests can be anything from podcast guests to business proposals to simply asking "how could this be easier?"
• Having a self-image that can handle rejection is crucial when making bold asks
• Starting with small, everyday moments of asking "what would I love?" builds the bandwidth for bigger requests 
• Knowing when a request comes from lack versus wholeness changes how you approach making asks
• Speaking desires aloud plants seeds — sometimes without making direct requests
• Bold faith means understanding that creation is already finished; what we desire already exists in some form
• Engaged availability creates opportunities for receiving that isolation cannot provide
• Purpose is the fountain of youth — it keeps energy flowing rather than constricting
• The only possible answers to bold asks are: yes, not yet, or I have something better
• Courage is contagious — surrounding yourself with bold people expands what you believe is possible

You can learn more about Hina via or website www.hinakhan.ca or connect with her directly on Instagram @coachwithhina


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Katie Lynn Rojano:

Welcome to Beyond, where denying your greatness is a thing of the past and next level confidence, success and purpose are the standard. I'm Katie Lynn, elite identity coach, host and your personal hype woman. I am here to inspire you out of your comfort zone. Today is the day you redesign your mindset and unlock the greatness that's already inside you, because your next level it's not one day, it's today. Let's go beyond.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Today, on Beyond, we have the incredible Hina Khan, the go-to peak performance mindset coach for CEOs, executives and entrepreneurs. With over two decades of experience, hina has transformed the lives of thousands of people globally. Combining peak performance with spirituality and leveraging her background as a former psychotherapist, hina guides her clients to create lives they love, rich in ease, joy and fun. Through her curated Amplify you framework, hina's clients have turned their annual income into their monthly income, deepened their relationships, moved into their dream homes, started businesses and achieved so much more. As a sought-after expert, hina frequently appears on national TV shows, magazines, keynotes, podcasts, including her own show, possibilities with Hina Khan, and she is also the best-selling author of A Return to you. For Hina, this is not just a business, this is a mission, and she's here to help us discover how to elevate our lives or our careers with ease, joy and fun. Hina, thank you so much for being here. Even just reading that, I'm like isn't it obvious why Hina had to be on the podcast? It's so obvious.

Hina Khan :

I am so thrilled to be here, katie, thank you.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes, yes. So, as I was sharing before we pressed record, I recently met you in person at your event up in Whistler, canada, and I was watching you speak on stage and engaging with the incredible females in your community and I was really taken aback by how it's almost like Hina floats she doesn't walk, she like floats on this beautiful frequency of peace and love and presence. And, as I heard you share on stage, there was a moment where you spoke about boldness and I said, wow, this is the first time I have experienced the concept of boldness floating in on like this beautiful, peaceful, feminine raft. I would say, right, like, I feel like when I've heard boldness be talked about before, it's very in your face and it's like bold and it's loud and it's really like almost like what's the word I'm looking for? It's like shocking, right, it's like as if bold has to be shocking. And when you talked about boldness, my system relaxed, my nervous system relaxed and I thought there's something there. So can you share more about your idea of boldness?

Hina Khan :

Oh, thank you for asking the question, katie, because I had never really thought about it in the way that you described it. As you were describing it, I was thinking about how we are used to hearing about being bold, and when it comes to women being bold, there can be this negative connotation to it, almost like we're being aggressive too out there, taking up too much space. Who do we think we are? And when we think of boldness, we might think of it as something that would be off-putting. And the way that I was describing it at the retreat in Whistler was this idea of incorporating bold requests, making bold asks in how you show up, even what your expectations are.

Hina Khan :

So bold requests and bold asks can be of things that we would desire to experience in our lives, like, maybe there's that person that we would love to have on our podcast, or an ask that we have of a business, another business owner, or a proposal that we want to put out. It could be in that way. It could even be in the way of a bold ask of what do we need? What do we need for ourselves to be able to thrive? A bold ask could even be how could this be easy? How could this be easier?

Hina Khan :

A bold ask, so it could be a bold asks of ourselves that we are presenting to ourselves, and then bold asks to the external, where we are putting ourselves out there and we're doing it in a way that's in harmony with who we are being and our self image. And in order to do this, though, we must have a self image that can manage the response, because sometimes we're going to put out bold asks and we may not get the response that we want. We may get a no, and many times we don't want to make the ask because we're afraid of the no. Of course, the no is already guaranteed if we don't ask.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes, that's the interesting part of it, right? Yeah, okay, so you must have, did you say, a self-image that is prepared to receive the response to the bold ask.

Hina Khan :

Can you say more about that? Yes, for sure. So, especially for women. Our self image many times is one that we're conditioned to be people pleasing. We're conditioned to actually not to ask for too much, because there's this idea that we're being greedy or being greedy or we think that we're all that. So, again, it's this negative connotation that's part of our self-image. So if we're going to make an ask and then we get a no back, we may interpret that no and give meaning to the no as see, I was too much. See, I clearly should not be asking for this kind of thing that I want. I can't have it. Oh my gosh, I was being too greedy in asking for it.

Hina Khan :

So it's how we will hear the response, and we will hear the response through the meaning that we're giving it, and we're giving the meaning through our self-image and our self-images, our stories and our standards. So we can be affirming that making bold requests is actually a bad thing. Now another person could get a no. I received one today and be like okay, perfect, great, and it's very neutral. I received one today and be like okay, perfect, great, and it's very neutral. It's not something that we give meaning to that defines whether we are good or bad or whether our ask was positive or negative, and that has to do with our self-image, because I know that the response doesn't make me, just like you know the response doesn't make me or break me, but you've got to come to a place of confidence with that?

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes, yes. And how would you say if I'm somebody and I'm listening and I'm going, okay?

Hina Khan :

well. My next question is how do I come to confidence with that? Yeah, and, and here's the thing it's, it's in the doing it right. Like if there's a way to get the confidence without doing it, katie, I would have done it. I would have done it. Putting yourself out there is so terrifying at first, and I certainly have been scared and nervous because that's what makes it a big ask, right, that's what makes it this unreasonable request like the audacity to ask this person to speak at your event, or the audacity to ask this person to look at your proposal, and the only way to that is through it.

Hina Khan :

And it's through asking it that you acclimatize to even being a person that asks, because right now, in your self-image, you might be a person that keeps yourself very small, that dims your light, that is very cautious around the crumbs, not asking for too much. So in simply, first of all, in simply contemplating the idea of asking is already maybe a stretch, and then to do it. So here's a, here's a place, katie, that you can start. That you might think you know what the heck does this have to do with anything? But I think one of the reasons we don't do it is because we're not connected to what we would love.

Hina Khan :

We've been connected to what we think we should love or what other people think we should be doing at the stage or age that we are at in our life. So one of the things I suggest is, even when you're going to a coffee shop so much of our life is on autopilot so even if you went and you, before you, made your automatic order, you asked yourself what would I love? Today, maybe it's something that's different and you allow yourself to start to experience what you would love and asking for what you would love. So we kind of start in these areas that are inconsequential, where the stakes aren't so high, to be able to build up the bandwidth to then be able to ask for something bigger. The other thing is, katie, is that sometimes like. One thing that I thought was an unreasonable ask was when I asked Sanyika, your lovely partner, to speak at the Whistler event, which is how we met my retreat in Whistler.

Hina Khan :

And I remember, sometimes you're not going to ask directly, you're going to go around and see is there another way that you can ask? That gets you out of asking, but you still get to ask. So what I did was I first went to Steve Hardison who's how I know Sanyika and I asked him, and what I was hoping he would say was oh, let me just let me organize all of that.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes, uh huh, yes, which I think is what we also I can relate to this totally of like. Okay, well, let me put this, let me drop this here, and it'll ripple out, and hopefully the ripples will align and do most of the lifting for me. Right, you got?

Hina Khan :

it. That's exactly. It Do most of the lifting for me. So I asked him and, in absolute Steve style, he's like well, you won't know unless you ask him. He's amazing, good luck, so we're not helpful.

Hina Khan :

Like thanks Steve, thanks Steve, for a whole lot of nothing. But what I do is that I make the request when I have a sliver of courage. So, again, you can't wait until you feel totally confident. It's like you've got that glimmer or that sliver of courage and you've got to pounce on it and act. So then I sent him an Instagram DM. Now again, I didn't get a response. He hadn't seen it. We weren't friends, so I wouldn't have landed in his primary inbox, and there's so many opportunities to talk yourself out of it, because then I could say, well, he's too busy, or you know, I tried, I tried right.

Hina Khan :

Katie, I tried and then I so. Then I messaged Steve and I said, Steve, I did reach out, I tried his Instagram. I haven't heard from him. Would you be comfortable with sharing his contact information? So you see, it's not. It's not. The steps are easy, I know how to send a text, but I'm still confronting myself and my own edges. Because, now I'm going back to Steve and asking him, and now I could get a no from Steve saying I'm not going to share his information.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Sure.

Hina Khan :

But Steve did and he's like, loving you both, yes, you're both amazing Go for it. And so then I did, uh, we did connect because of that, so that would. That's an example of one that was that was done last year and, you see, you'd never know where it's gonna lead to. And then, um, katie, what was so beautiful was that you came on the retreat as well, and it was over Valentine's Day in.

Hina Khan :

Whistler, our retreat, and that's how you and I met. And now here I'm on your podcast. Like that wasn't even on my conscious radar. Yeah, yeah, of what can happen when you make a bold request and you put it out there to the world.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah, and I, and it's so beautiful, oh my gosh. I'm so grateful you shared this story and walked us through your process in this because, especially, we can look out into the world and go, oh well, it must be easy for her. She must make bold requests all the time, it's no problem, right? And it's like, oh well, we actually don't know that's our brain filling in those gaps, right? That just making assumptions on our behalf based on our self-image, like you shared earlier, and for me, being a part of that retreat, was a real nod to me from God saying, katie, I keep putting you back in these places, I keep putting you back in these spaces, right? So that was its own curriculum for me around my purpose and my walk in this lifetime with the work that I do.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And so when I watched you, I was like, oh, god sent him as a reminder for me, and I and meeting you and hearing you speak was like, oh, everything. I'm sitting in the back of the room nodding my head Like yes, oh, everything. I'm sitting in the back of the room, nodding my head like yes, yes, yes, and feeling so grateful, right, that there are other incredible humans in this world doing this work and the thing that I've noticed because I started reading your book as well is I was like, okay, let me read more about you about and I signed up for your morning calls the three that you're doing next week, which they're 3 am my time, but I'm like you know what we're going to go for it you can also listen to.

Hina Khan :

You'll get the recording you want to make it part of your routine. You know, katie, we do have people that come on at 3. I believe it. I'm like, wow, that is amazing.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah, I believe it, especially as a mom to younger kids. We have a three-year-old. So if I set it's so funny, this is an aside. But if I set my mind, like this morning, to wake up earlier than normal, I was going to wake up at 4.44 in the morning because I had a few things I wanted to do. And guess who comes knocking on our door at 4.44, literally, I think it was at 4.41 in the morning. Our little toddler comes knocking at the door to climb in bed with us and I'm like, oh my, of course right, but the attunement is a very real thing.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

But I digress and I come back to this idea of reading the first few chapters of your book, because I haven't made it all the way through yet and realizing that I noticed probably a component of the bold request is also that it's rooted in really bold faith. Because I couldn't help but notice that the first thing you address in your book, around setting the frame, setting the context for the reader, is that we live in a world where creation is done, and that was like, oh, this is good, I'm going to love this, right. Because I think you said that's Neville Goddard, yes, who I adore. And so when I read that, I go, oh, creation is done, which means that it's already available in this moment. I get to be bold enough in my actions and in my belief and be the space, like you said earlier, of like being the recipient of what happens after that bold ask to receive it, and often in a way that pleasantly surprises me, because you share a couple stories and I want people listening to go get your book and read the stories, because these stories are going to touch your heart.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And just I was in like tears, right, like just in my eyes, reading these stories, but I couldn't help but notice that you share your process of how you navigated that, by placing reminders in certain places and visualizing every morning and seeing it play out, and then even getting to the point where you thought you got a no on one of them. And then you shared, right, you shared honestly your confusion and like maybe even disappointment, right, that it didn't happen the way that you thought it was going to happen. And then, because you were honest and shared that, the person who had the capacity to turn that no into a yes turned the no into a yes and then it happened, but it had to play out a certain way, right, it had to in a way that you didn't see coming, and so can you talk and share more with us about what I would call bold faith, but I'm not sure what you would call it, but just this knowing right, that like this is for me.

Hina Khan :

Yes, I love bold faith. I think I might just start calling it that.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah, I mean, that's exactly. I was like she has some bold faith, Like it really is, and imagine the. I just my brain is so visual. I imagine the bold faith being the soil, the fertile soil for bold requests and a bold life, right Like a life that's really full, like a garden, a healthy garden, you know.

Hina Khan :

And I love that analogy of the healthy garden because when we think about what we're planting and we want to plant with faith and so many times we dig it up with doubt Because when we're planting with faith, when we plant something, because we know of the gestation period and the natural laws in nature, we understand that most of growth happens in the dark. Even the baby, your baby, you know your babies, it's in the womb in the dark and we don't see it. And that's where the co-creative components are coming in, under the soil, that's where the foundation is being created and we understand that in nature. And what we have to understand is that we are nature, we are nature.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes, we are.

Hina Khan :

And it's the same thing that happens with us. And so what Price Pritchett says, which I really love, is that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. And that's where bold faith comes in, because just because you can't see it does not mean it is not there. We cannot see the apple seed underground. But because we understand the process, we know things are happening and in fact, an apple doesn't look like an apple until the very last part of it. So we're looking for that last part, we're looking at it out of order. But what creation is finished means and I love, love, love Neville he's really that book Power of Awareness changed my life, and what he talks about in this idea of creation is finished is that it is finished. It is here in one form or another, so it's simply in a different form.

Hina Khan :

And right now, when we have ideas of an idea of a business that we want to create, or an idea of something that we want to do, an idea for our life, our family, the minute that we can imagine it, it is already done, Because you actually couldn't imagine it if it wasn't here already, you wouldn't be consciously aware of it. So it's accepting that. So normally we have the idea, and then we have resistance to the idea. But I can't but this and that. So where bold faith comes in is, once we have the idea, we want to plant it in the fertile soil of our mind and understand that this is faith based on understanding. And then, when you have those slivers of courage from the place of the goal so we're not moving to a goal, we're working from the goal, from the place of the goal of occupying the state of the wish fulfilled being in the goal we get our ideas. It's not in linear way.

Hina Khan :

So we had planned this retreat, we planned Whistler a year ago and a year ago, and then I didn't know that I would be asking Sanyika to speak at the retreat, would be asking Sanyika to speak at the retreat. I had no idea and I saw him. We started planning it in Jan Feb last year. I saw him speak in January but I had no idea he would be speaking at the retreat. And so things kind of happen in these different orders, and that's where you've got to trust. And so this is where we dig things up is with our doubt, because we get caught up in the how. So you want to understand that the how is none of your business, because you actually cannot know the how, Because we're limited in our mind. Our how is connected to source. Yeah, Like, leave it. Listen, if source created this universe, like we're on a planet that is.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes.

Hina Khan :

I don't even understand.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Don't even understand it. Don't even understand it.

Hina Khan :

Do not even understand it. These the sun, like it's our bodies, Like what's happening when we're asleep.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Oh my gosh yeah.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I think source may have a better plan than I could come up with Absolutely, absolutely, I, I, I go, you know, you know how, I know that I don't know what's going on. Is my physical female body made two male bodies? My body made a part I don't even have? Okay, I never even thought of that, I don't even have it, like I couldn't even tell you how that like that's my running kind of joke, you know is that like look, I know that I don't know what's going on fully, because how did I make two parts that I don't even own myself? I don't know, but it's wild, right, when we really sit and think about it, it's so wild you just, oh, my gosh, I'm going to be thinking about that, isn't?

Hina Khan :

that wild For the next couple of days you know, yeah, and everything that has to happen for that to happen, for that to happen.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And I didn't have to do anything. Hina, that's the other part that blows my mind. I did not. I had. I got to eat, I had to sleep, Make sure I'm taking my vitamins, Stretch, take good care of my body, right, Like. But I didn't have to sit and draw out a plan for how I was going to do this and contact this many people, and you know what I mean. Like, it was very it's like it blows my mind it's like it blows my mind.

Hina Khan :

Yes, because you had to. You, you received, you had to be the the uh, you had to create this. You had this just to hold the space. Yes, just to hold the space. Hold the space and then not get in the way.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yes, exactly, exactly. That's the. That's the part that I think is more accurate is how do I make sure it it's not like? How do I bring this forward? How do I create this? It's more so. How do I get out of the way? Yes, how do I get out of the way? Right?

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And I love what you shared earlier. It made me think of my running journey and you said you know, the only way to get good at making bold asks or bold requests is to start making bold requests. Right, and it's very similar with running. It's like I can buy the running shoes, I can get the gear, I can drink the water, I can eat the meals properly, but really, the only way to start getting better at running is to go run, you know, and feel silly for the first mile, when I'm out of breath and huffing and puffing and I'm going so slow and my knees hurt and right, like. But it really is such a metaphor for how everything rolls out in life, because it's like that beginning part of like.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Am I crazy, right? And am I crazy to think that I could be a runner? Am I, you know? Is this really for me? Is that and that's, is that the doubt that you speak of Like that. That sort of my brain has a tendency to default to Katie, you're crazy Like I. My brain judges a lot of my ideas as Katie this is crazy right, this is. And then. And then I know better now than to follow that right and believe that. Take that as a truth. But that doesn't mean that my brain doesn't still try to do it and so it's like, okay, well, that's not the truth. But how do you navigate that? Either with yourself or with the people that you work with when that comes up? Because I would imagine it does.

Hina Khan :

Oh, it does. It does even for me. And I think what you said is so important is that as you start to understand yourself, which is why I think the most important thing we can do is get to know who we are and study ourselves. Then you know what that is, so you don't have to buy into it. So you know that. Okay, I get it. You're just trying to keep me safe. You're just saying why go out there when we can be in bed a little bit longer and cozy? And then you can override it.

Hina Khan :

And we can only do that when we start to understand our own triggers, our habits. It can only happen when we do some self-inquiry. So that is the best ways to understand ourselves and know when we are going to try to play one on ourselves, so that we don't have to do the thing and you recognize it and then you override it. Just like you know, in computer technology we've got to override things Because some of the technology is old, the patterning it's old, it's conditioned, it doesn't serve us anymore. But because it's comfortable, it feels good, because when you make a decision to start running, you know it takes a lot of brain calories, like there's thinking that you've got to do that, you don't have to do if you keep doing the same thing, which is not running, not being a runner.

Hina Khan :

I think of my oldest is 17 now and he's learning how to drive. Oh my gosh, katie, I'm telling, I don't understand, I don't understand.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I'm not far from that, Hannah. I'm not far from it, I look. I mean, we joke that I'm getting shorter every day in this house.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I'm shrinking right, and I used to have this. Really, my Sanyika jokes with me that I think I'm the tallest person in every room that I walk into and it's because when I was in my adolescent years, I grew ahead of everybody, so I was 5'9 by the time I was like in eighth grade and so I was the tall. I was a very tall girl, right, and then everybody grew past me but I still had this complex of like I'm the biggest one in the room, and so we joke about this, especially him and his height, and he'll be like you know, what do you? You know, I say in my next lifetime I'm going to meet a really tall man, you know like. But but so I'm.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I watched my, our 13 year old and he's like here to me, right, he's a couple inches he's, he's on my heels and his feet are bigger than mine now and I'm looking at him and I'm going he's not that tall. And then I'm like wait, that means I'm not that tall because I'm looking at him, right. So it's this mirroring process. But yes, we're at that part in the development where I'm going. Who is this young man in the house going.

Hina Khan :

Who is this young man in the house? And then you'd think but I just brought him home in the car seat from the hospital and now he's in the driver's seat. Yes, you know something's wrong with this picture. Yes, and so he's learning how to drive. I haven't been in the car with him yet. It'll be tomorrow. I was like Paul, I can't, I'm just not ready yet, because I think I would make him too nervous.

Hina Khan :

Yes, yes, I'd be too nervous. So Paul's done it for the first few times, but tomorrow I will be. But Paul was, like you know, like Yusuf, he's, like you know, kind of gripping the steering wheel and he's got to be so much more aware he can't be kind of relaxed because it's new. When we're starting something new, it takes a lot of energy because we have to be. Things are not automatic for us, so we're, we've got to, and it's in the repetition that then we, it becomes automatic.

Hina Khan :

So I say that because that's this is how we can talk ourselves out of things. Because of that efforting at the beginning and as we get older, sometimes we don't want to be a beginner again and we know how to do this. Even if it's not serving us, at least we know how to do it. So, gosh, I commend anybody who is trying something different. And so we have to just understand ourselves and understand that we are wired to be in our comfort zone and that it's not going to feel comfortable. And I think if we can just even understand that, then it's like okay, I know what's happening now.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so relevant, especially one of the things, one of my intentions as I enter the second half of my life is to remain psychologically flexible, because what I can see happening as I experience some people who are aging, is that there's this rigidity, right, that sets in where every day is Groundhog Day. It looks the same same decisions, same disposition, same mood, right, and it's like, okay, how can I bring in something new? That does challenge me and I don't love being a beginner, right, I'm very human in that way where it's like I don't love being a beginner, I don't like being terrible at something. I love to do well, do something well and so letting it be in that phase where you watch it back and you go, oh, you should probably drink electrolytes while you run, that'll make it easier for you. Or, like you should probably have a couple you know gummies while you're running so that you don't deplete yourself so fast.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

You know, it's like your whole body, that's a living organism, right? This is how you fuel yourself. So there's so much to learn along the way, and it's really that idea that when we start something, in the same way that there's this ripple effect that happens. Right, you ask Sanyika to come speak, and then I come with him, and then you and I meet and now we're on a podcast and you know, now it's like, oh, there's more people doing this work in the world. This is so amazing and you know it's. There's this beautiful chemistry that's always happening beyond what we can conceive with our minds in a moment and being willing to go on the ride. Right, it's like that part and regulating ourselves with kindness. This has been a huge one for me, but like learning the language of kindness, learning the language of compassion, which is very different than doubt and disempowering and enabling right, and I'm wondering how you navigate when to make the bold ask and when to say no, that's not it for me.

Hina Khan :

That's a really great question and it comes into really connecting with myself and how it feels. And this is where you've got to get to know yourself, because you know excitement, fear, nervousness can all feel very similar, and so we might be like, oh, it's a sign I'm not supposed to do it and that may not be it at all. So, again, part of it's going to be trial and error. You've just got to go out there and put yourself out there and then you're going to have things to compare it to. And so, now that I've been in this work for so long, I can feel when it is fear or judgment, and when it is, this is not the right time.

Hina Khan :

And so sometimes what I'll do is I won't say I'm not going to do the ask. I may not do the ask right now, because I feel like the ask is coming from a little bit of lack or desperation and I want the ask, the bold ask, to come from a whole and complete place. Because if it's a whole and complete place, because if it's a whole and complete place, the response to the ask again doesn't make me or break me, that doesn't define me, it's not like, oh, I'm a good person because they said yes, or I'm a bad person because they said no. So that's what I want to make sure. So if I'm checking in on something, it's like what energy is this coming from?

Katie Lynn Rojano:

checking in on something. It's like what energy is this coming from? Yes, oh, my goodness, I love this so much because it's like the way that I see it is every ask is like a seed and it's like what is the seed of this ask? Is it scarcity, is it insecurity, is it power, is it love, is it hope? Right, like what's that seed? Because to me, I feel like that really has a lot of influence on how that ask rolls out in the world and how it's received and how it's perceived. You know, and when you were speaking earlier, when we very first started the conversation, I made a note because you were saying something about you know, a lot of times when we make a bold ask, especially for women, we look out into the world and we sort of assess, right, whether it's too much, whether it's too big, whether it's too audacious, too loud, too bright, too, whatever. And that tells me that the unlearning and I know that I really got to unlearn this and I'm still unlearning it in many ways, right, because I think it just happens at different levels as you continue to evolve is learning to be inside out, live inside out rather than outside in, inside out rather than outside in, so really being able to connect to myself, like you said, at this deeper level, and go. If I couldn't see the world, if I couldn't hear the world, what would the desire be? And then honoring that desire and going, okay, am I courageous enough? Will I be courageous enough to send this out into the universe, to the person or to the, you know, whoever needs to hear it, that can take it and help to bring it forward? You know, and sometimes the desire is just saying it out loud in front of nobody, right?

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I had this instance at your retreat where I was getting ready to come downstairs at one of the mornings and I had said out loud oh, when I get home, I need to find a new skincare routine. It's time for me to find a new skincare routine. And it was just, I thought nothing of it and I literally was like oh, I'm almost out of this moisturizer I packed and I really just need a good three, five step routine, you know. And then I go downstairs and I meet one of the women in attendance and she says your skin is so beautiful, I have a skincare line.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Did you get the bag in your room? And I go what bag? What? No, what are you talking about? And I'm like in my mind, scanning the bathroom, right, like what did I miss? She said it should have been a big bag and I said, no, she goes hold on, I'm going to go get you one. And she brings me a full, brand new, incredible three-step skincare routine. And we have the biggest laugh over it. Right, because sometimes it's saying out loud what the desire is, and it's literally just out loud. It doesn't always have to be to the person, but sometimes I think that the first domino of the creation process and the receiving process is the ownership.

Hina Khan :

Yes, you got it. That's exactly it. It's like being bold enough to admit it to yourself. Yes, I just love that. Yes, this is Andrea Murad's line, which is, first of all, how good is her skincare? Amazing.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

It's incredible, it's so good, it is so good, it is so good.

Hina Khan :

That's what I've been using all the time now and I keep telling her. It is so good.

Hina Khan :

I didn't know from Korean skincare before her line, yes, but it is really really good. So shout out to Andrea and her skincare line. But what I love about that is what if that's what it could be like all the time that you just say something and it's like oh, there it is, oh, there it is, oh, like, like, like, the like. That manifestation was the amount of time to finish getting ready and into an elevator and down. So probably within an hour, like within an hour, within an hour, you said something and walked away and I got to tell you those that are listening, the products that Katie is talking about. We're not talking about travel size, no, we're talking about full size, full size, a whole set, a whole set. Yeah. So that is absolutely incredible.

Hina Khan :

And here's what I want to identify is that you had the desire and you didn't have any resistance to it. It wasn't like yeah, but do I really? I don't really need it. It was like I'm going to do a new skincare routine, I need a new skincare routine and let it go. You weren't obsessing over the new skincare routine, so could we do that if we were saying I would? You know, I'm really, I would love to have another $10,000, or I'd love to hit seven figures. Like what would it be like to do it with that same kind of desire and detachment?

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah yeah.

Hina Khan :

And then allow and allow the right person to come to you, allow it to happen, and you're also, you were also at that retreat. You also didn't. Just you know you could have not mixed with anybody really. You could have. You know, katie, you could have come and just really done your own thing. Seneca does his thing, and then you guys meet up. You didn't have to come and meet anybody there. That was so. You were also putting yourself. You were also being available for it as well. I want to acknowledge that.

Hina Khan :

Oh, that's beautiful, yeah, in who you were being to be in an environment to allow somebody to say, hang on, I've got something for you.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm so grateful you said that, because what I've learned in the last 10 years, especially in starting my coaching business, right when our backgrounds are very similar I'm a psychotherapist turned coach. My first 20 years were working behind bars right At the juvenile justice, mental health programs, in the prison, at the women's prison. So I love psychology and when I was seven, 16 or 17, I just knew I was like I want to study humans forever. So, but I fast forward because what I've learned is that things, particularly in this realm that we live in here, move through people. And so when I was single and I would pray and I and I would be like God, how am I gonna meet my person? Like, do I need to get on dating apps? Like, give me some clear directions. You know what I mean. I wanted something very specific and God gave me something very specific. I would always hear, uh, go do Facebook live, go do a Facebook live. And I would be, but that's for my business, that's for just me, right? I'm not what I don't understand? Well, fast forward.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And when I reached out to Sanyika, because of people in our community we had been swirling around each other. People in our community kept telling me I think you need to meet this person, I think you need to meet this person. And so I reached out to him. Finally, after one of my best friends, you know, said I think I met your husband, I'm like, okay, great. So I reached out to him and we connect. But when I sent him the message, he's, he experiences doubt, right he's. He opens up the message and he goes what is this? Right, this is so random, I don't know this woman like, who is she? So he goes on my page and he starts watching my Facebook lives and page. And he starts watching my Facebook lives and, after seeing them, decides, okay, now I'm going, now I'll message her back.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And when he told me that the wisdom that I was receiving when I made the ask makes sense because it's like, oh, this is how this is going to work, but it all came to be through people and through not hiding, right, it was very much in this era of life where I would get on every Thursday and I would do a live and I would connect with people and I would go to events and I would you know, and so like really understanding that what you're saying about being available particularly, is not just saying I'm available and then sitting in the chair and not moving. It's like I'm available and then go talk to 10 people, and not about the thing that you just asked for, but go talk to them and engage with the world and be a part of it. Because it's like I tell, like if you put a dollar bill on the table, how do you get that dollar bill to move? And they're like, well, the wind could blow. And it's like, yeah, the wind could blow.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

That's true, but like, what's a faster way to make the dollar bill move? And they're like, well, I could move it. Yeah, you can move it. What's another way I could ask somebody else to move it? Yeah, exactly, so all resources move through humans, basically, that we've created. So I love that you said this engagement, because I'm such a proponent of this of like, get out and engage and I'm not an extrovert. So it takes a little bit more effort for me to hype myself up and be like I'm going to go engage, I'm going to go interact. But as I've come more into myself in my growth and more confidence and just more groundedness and more self-acceptance, that has made it significantly easier to be open to receiving what I say I desire.

Hina Khan :

Oh my gosh, that was a masterclass right there. I mean, I feel like I could. I have so many questions for you too or just want to unpack it Like what I love, katie, is this idea of you know how you know. There's that saying make it make sense. Yes, like you're asking to meet your love and the direction you're getting is do a Facebook live. Yeah, nothing about that makes sense, nothing, Nothing. But you trust in it, and that's why even what I say when you're making a bold ask or really creating the life that you love, is that it's not about the thing happening exactly the way that you thought of it. To me, it's always to this or something better.

Hina Khan :

And that helps loosen the grip too, and what's in the highest for everybody. So when I made the ask to Sanyika because Steve Hardison would not made the ask to Sanyika, because Steve Hardison would not, and I made that ask to him To me it was to this or something better for the highest of everybody there. And if it's him, which I believe it is in that moment, then that is what it will be and it's going to somehow work out, and if it isn't, then that's in everyone's highest interest. So I think that that can also be a way to manage when you are making bold requests or really asking for. What you want is that it can be a way to not grip to. The outcome is to say to this or something better.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah to this or something better. I love that. Yeah, yeah, it reminds me of that better. I love that. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's reminds me of that. The, the one that I love as well. That I say to myself is like there's only three responses yes, not yet, or I have something better. Like those are the three answers If you make the ask, if you don't make the ask, and the answer for sure will be no.

Hina Khan :

Right, wow, I love that, but it's, it's yes, not yet.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Or I have something better, and I'm a super intuitive woman, like in and to the point where I've I've kind of like scared myself in some instances where I'm like, oh my gosh, what was that? But that has helped me to lean, like relax, into this idea that I don't have to understand it, especially loving logic. Right, I love intellect, I love logic, I love to study it, Like I'm such a nerd, and so it's like I want to understand how that happened and how that worked. And then it's like that, however, became a big block to my capacity to receive, because I got to a point where I wouldn't receive it unless I understood it. And it's like, imagine I had to understand everything to receive it before.

Hina Khan :

I could say yes, wouldn't have your children.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I wouldn't have the children for sure, wouldn't have my husband, wouldn't have my business, wouldn't have so many things right. It's like, wow, so really making that agreement of, I don't need to understand it, I don't need to justify it. That was a big one too for me. Oh, I got to justify why this came to me and why it didn't need to justify it. That was a big one too for me is, oh, I got to justify why this came to me and why it didn't go to Susie and why it didn't go to Jennifer, and you know what I mean. Like why me, why did I get you know? And it's like, no, katie, you don't need to justify it, you don't need to rationalize it, you don't need to understand it. You say, yes, I'll receive it. Thank you so much. If you have more, I'm open to more. You know if you need more, please.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

But that really was helpful too, because sometimes I noticed quite a bit that things would try to access me and again, going back to what you said earlier, like it's not how do I bring this forward, it's how do I get out of the way? And and working to get myself out of the way, right. Because like, oh, yeah, that, that the universe was really trying to deliver that and I, I was not available. Yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, anything else that you feel like we should know before we wrap this up, because this conversation we could go for hours, I know we could. We could just back and forth. There's so much wisdom you have.

Hina Khan :

Well, I'm learning so much from you, katie, as well, and I really appreciate this conversation, and I was thinking about what you said around the chapter that you're entering into in your life and being psychologically flexible, and I think that's one of the most important things we can do, and I feel blessed to have worked with mentors.

Hina Khan :

My first one was Bob Proctor, and he was working into his 80s well, right up until he died, and he would always say that he never bought into the paradigm of retirement. He just chose not to buy into that, and so many of the people that he surrounded himself with were younger than him because of what the majority of people of his age were doing and I would say Steve Hardison is the same as well, and to me, purpose is the fountain of youth. I feel like having that desire. That's what keeps you young, because it's an energy that flows then, and not blocking it and constricting it. And so if there's something that you desire, know that you are worthy of it. You've got to accept that. Accept that the idea wouldn't come to you if it was impossible for you to execute on. Just ask yourself what is my next best step? Do it and then, after that take the next step and the next and if, within those steps, there is a bold ask, get into the habit of being somebody that makes bold requests.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Yeah, yeah, I love that, I love that and I'm so grateful, hina, because you've designed a community, and I think community is critical when we are creating something we haven't created before, or asking for something we've never asked before, or redesigning our self-image right and our identity, because there's plenty of moments where I have this big ask and I do feel nervous and I do feel like, oh, this is really big, or oh. So then I tell someone I share with someone, my best friend, my community, I go I'm going to make this big ask. And then they celebrate me, right, because they're doing the same thing. So they go yeah, we're so proud of you, let's go. And then I make the big ask and go, oh my gosh, I just did it, I'm so happy.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

And they're like, yeah, you just did it, and so having that is really important, I think, as a part of the process. And you have a community where that's available, where these women and I got to meet them in person right, some of them, I'm sure it's not all of them, but they're just so welcoming, so warm, so inspiring and loving, and and those spaces, those spaces I really hold a sacred because, like you said earlier, it's really courageous for someone to decide that they're going to live fully. You know, really, let themselves live fully. So thank you so much.

Hina Khan :

And I'll just say one more thing about that. Katie, around community because you're right, it is courageous and courage is contagious and that's why it works. Because then you're like well, if they can do it, I can do it. You're showing me what's possible for me. Yes, yeah.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

I love that Courageous is contagious. Oh, I'm writing that somewhere, I'm putting it on a wall somewhere.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Thank you so so much, hina. I am so grateful for this time with you today and I will link to the show notes where everyone can find Hina so you can experience more of her, and she's very generous with her resources and her offerings in terms of the ability to access them. Like I said, I'm doing a call morning calls with you next week, you know, and getting to experience that. I'm looking forward to it. Her book is available. Return to you. So get in touch with Hina in some way, shape or form, and we just really are so grateful for this time today. Thank you, thanks, katie, and we just really are so grateful for this time today. Thank you, thanks, katie.

Katie Lynn Rojano:

Listen, your next level isn't a dream, it's a decision. So, before you go, let me remind you of one thing your next level it's not waiting for you. It's already here, ready for you to say yes. No more playing small, no more overthinking, no more waiting for one day. The version of you that has everything you desire. She's already inside you. She's just waiting for you to decide and take action. So if today's episode hit home, don't just listen, act on it. Screenshot this episode, share it with a friend, tag me at Katie Lynn Rahano and tell me your biggest takeaway and if you're ready to live your next level now head to stanstore backslash, go beyond and let's make it happen until next time. Keep showing up, keep saying yes and keep going beyond.