BEYOND

Ep 31: Why did I do THAT?

• Katie Lynn Rojano

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How often do we let preconceived notions about ourselves limit our experiences?

 Join me, Katie Lynn, on an adventure at The Big Bounce that challenged my own aversions and reshaped my understanding of identity. Despite my usual discomfort with heat and chaos, I discovered the joy of being fully engaged with my family. This episode explores the realization that our identities as parents and partners can transcend environmental discomforts, leading us to create lasting, joyful memories with those we love. 

Continuing this journey of self-discovery, I delve into the power of living with intention and purpose. I share my personal guide to making life decisions through three key intentions: crafting beautiful memories, committing to physical training, and helping others. By applying these principles, I recount a day where all intentions aligned perfectly, demonstrating the importance of focus and planning. This episode is a call to reflect on how our identities shape our actions and to prepare for life’s challenges with vision and mantras. Join me in fostering a community of growth and purpose, as we all share insights from our personal journeys.

For inquiries email: katie@katielynnrojano.com

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Speaker 1:

Hello, my friend, and welcome to Beyond the personal growth podcast for the people who are healing beyond their conditioning and beyond the cycles that played out before them. My name is Katie Lynn and, with 20 years of experience in the field of psychology and human behavior, I am bringing my natural curiosity, expertise and personal life experiences here for discussions that are guaranteed to be informative, inspiring and entertaining. I'm glad you're here. Let's get started. Welcome to today's episode. This was supposed to be an expert episode. However, I want you to know that this is one of the fullest weeks I have had all year and I did not have the space to edit the expert episode that was supposed to come out today. So I am recording a solo episode for you, because I am dedicated to getting these episodes out weekly, and if it's Saturday, then it's Saturday folks.

Speaker 1:

So we just got home from celebrating the week at this place with the kids called the big bounce, and this was Sanika's idea. He brought it to me. He was like I think we should take the kids here and basically what it is is it is a park, a giant park full of inflatable activities. Okay, there is an obstacle course that is a quarter of a mile long and it is a giant inflatable. Their tagline is we have the biggest inflatable in the world. Of course, the boys were excited to go and I was standing in the middle of this place, which is again huge, as the boys and Soneika are in this giant bounce house.

Speaker 1:

Right, I'm standing there and I'm like, wow, here I am, the woman who will tell strangers that she doesn't like the heat, that she tries her best to stay out of the sun, that chaos is really not her thing. This is really what I tell people, this is really what I tell myself. Right, I'm not one for the heat, I don't like the sun. It's 90 degrees today, okay, at this place. And I'm standing here and I'm like this is really interesting because, number one, I do say all these things to people about myself. I say I don't like the heat, I don't like chaos, not a big stand in the sun, kind of a gal. And yet here I am on this gorgeous Saturday standing in the sun, in the heat, in this chaos, and it's basically like this event, where it's made for kids. So there's kids everywhere, there's bubbles, there's foam, there's screaming, there's yelling, there's music, there's a DJ at the center of this giant inflatable and, honestly, when I went in the inflatable because you know I did jump it feels like a Vegas pool party but made for kids.

Speaker 1:

And I'm like what would get me to go against everything I believe in personally and pay to attend this experience? And not just pay to attend this experience, but pay to attend this experience and enjoy it and participate and engage in this experience with my children and my husband and actually in full transparency. I loved it. It was fantastic. What causes that? Because I'm out here in the world on any other given day telling people that you wouldn't catch me out in this thing, and here I am out in this thing, this big bounce experience.

Speaker 1:

As I was standing there think about this I had this moment of realization, and this moment of realization was the identity that I have of being an engaged mother, being a mother who creates memories with her children and memories with her husband, is stronger than the other beliefs and principles that I have around being in the sun, around being in the heat, around chaos. And I really want you to notice that, because when we set out to transform our lives and we set out to achieve some goals, what we really get to look at is what do we believe? And not just what we believe, but to what degree do I believe that? What are my conditions for that belief? If somebody invites me to a party right in the middle of summer and it's going to be 103 degrees there and there's going to be no water and there's going to be inflatables and I don't really know these people very well my standards around whether or not I'm going to be willing to go are going to be very different.

Speaker 1:

If, say, the circumstances were it's one of my family members whom I love dearly and they're having a party, and it's one of my family members whom I love dearly and they're having a party and it's a celebration of some milestone, and my kids are going to be with me and my husband's going to be with me and it's going to create a memory right, I have a belief that my identity is to be an engaged mother and an engaged wife. The story that's in my head is I work out for this. This is why I work out. Sure, aesthetics are great. Sure, it's great to be strong. But let me tell you something. If I can keep up with my three-year-old and my 13-year-old through this quarter of a mile inflatable obstacle course.

Speaker 1:

I'm so excited about that, right, and not only am I excited about that, but my intention is to be the grandmother that's at these places, to be the grandmother that's there with my baby's babies, going through these inflatable obstacle courses and being fit enough and being sound of mind enough and being healthy enough to navigate these things with them. Because I think back to my childhood and I go would that have been cool if I could have not just had my parents here but also had a really amazing relationship with my grandparents and had them here with me too. That's just incredible to me, and so thinking of that and framing it that way really helps me to make the decision to live into that, you know, and to show up today and be like of course we're going to go to the big bounce, of course we're going to do all these obstacle courses. Of course we're going to be, you know, dripping sweat because it's so hot and I'm going to do all these obstacle courses. Of course we're going to be dripping sweat because it's so hot and I'm going to have extra sunscreen on and I'm going to have a great time and I'm going to be dancing in that big bounce house and I'm going to be celebrating like I am at a Las Vegas pool party that is for kids and I'm going to love it, and my kids are going to love it, and I'm going to watch them be so excited to go down this big old slide with me and be the source of inspiration. When Ezra looks at me and he's like mom, I feel nervous. You know, mom, I feel scared because the slide is so huge, and I'm like you know what, baby, it's okay, I do too. We're going to be courageous, we're going to do it together, like that means the world to me, and that's the stuff that is powerful enough to move mountains when you need mountains moved To do the things that you wouldn't normally consider doing, because the meaning is so deep, the identity is so deep, and that's the beautiful thing about our brains is that we can connect our brains to identities that run so deep that we would literally, literally find a way to move mountains, to get it done. And that's the lesson that I want to impart on you today is that if you have a goal, if you have a vision, or if you don't have a goal and you don't have a vision, I am really encouraging you to take some time to be in the design of that, to really envision it, because it's not that things must be difficult or it's not that you can't do hard things, it's that the challenging things are going to come up and it's going to be inevitable. And in order to move beyond those things, you get to really vision out who you're going to be in these moments in life when they show up, when these opportunities show up, when these opportunities show up right.

Speaker 1:

I remember telling Sanyika around the time of my birthday that I had three intentions. One was to make amazing memories with people that I love. Two was to train really strong, really powerfully. And three was to serve and help a lot of people, as many people as I could. When I think about how I spend my time, when I think about the activities I say yes to and the activities that I say no to, I run it through those three filters. Does it help me to make beautiful memories of people that I love? Does it contribute to my training and physical health? Does it help me to help other people? If it does, then I'm a yes to it, and if it hits all three, then I'm a yes to it.

Speaker 1:

I just had a day recently in my life where I got to the end like whoa today. I hit all three, I trained really hard, I made memories with the people that I love beautiful memories, and I helped a lot of people and that's incredible and that comes with intention, and that comes with decision, and that comes with focus and commitment and saying no to anything that doesn't fit in those three filters. So I was just processing that this week, especially as I step into this next phase of my life personally and this next phase of my service and this next phase of my training, and making these memories and I start to vision more about, oh my gosh, how do I feel in the moment when this is created? And I'll give you an example. I think about moments like these with my family that I had today at the big bounce. I think about those moments when I'm running on the treadmill at five o'clock in the morning. Those are the moments that move me through the boredom and the discomfort and maybe sometimes pain that I experience when I want to be running and maybe I have a desire to quit right, that impulse shows up. I think about these experiences and I use these experiences as anchors and as motivation, because I am human, just like you.

Speaker 1:

So I'm not trying to combat my excuses. I'm making a plan for when they show up. I'm making a plan for when that excuse shows up. Where do I go? How do I handle it? What do I decide? And that's a part of the preparation is like I don't think you should act like you're not going to have challenges, like you're not going to have excuses, like you're not going to have days where you don't want to. I want you to make a list of the challenges you can bet on, the excuses that you know are going to pop up that could pop up every single day and I want you to make a plan and have some visions and have some mantras and have some identities formed that you can lean into when that shows up, because it's going to show up. That's the whole point.

Speaker 1:

Today was amazing, this week was incredible, and I stand by the fact that identity is critical to a quality life. Your identity determines the quality of life that you have, and developing an identity is a skill set. It's a skill set. I love you so much. Have a beautiful week. We'll be back next week with our guest expert. I'll talk to you soon as we complete this episode. I would love to know your insights, takeaways and feedback. You can message me on Instagram at katielinrojano, or send them via email to katie at katielinrojanocom. Any products or digital downloads I mentioned can be found via the link in my Instagram bio. If you enjoyed this episode, I encourage you to share it with at least one friend and leave a five-star review so we can get these impactful dialogues into the lives of even more people. I would also like to thank my guest for their vulnerability and generosity and allowing us to learn from them and grow alongside them. Until next time, friends, let's go beyond.